On Lack of Control
29 Jun
I’ve mentioned many times that I keep a personal writing journal– it’s at InsaneJournal, which is like LiveJournal but with less rules and crappy ads. The “tags” feature as it works with LJ type platforms is freaking brilliant for a crazy anal retentive writer type. Any entry I make about a given book, draft, chapter, character, plot, list, agent, writer, whatever, all I do is click the tag and they all come up in a neat little row. All my pretty lists, perfectly organized. It’s quite beautiful. Almost moves me to tears.
Well, no, but it’s beautiful anyhow, dammit.
Anyhow, I have one post for each of my projects that’s sort of a go-to post, with links to the pertinent information in other posts, should the tag system not suffice. (Sometimes it doesn’t. Worldbuilding is a motherf@$ker, let’s face it.) I also have one that’s a list of ideas that I’m sure I’ll want to use some day, but at the moment have no idea how or why. I keep the thing diligently updated, striking out ones I’ve used, adding new ones at the bottom, etc. Occasionally I’ll see a prompt elsewhere, an anthology that I think looks really cool, a call for submissions with some direction or another, and go to my List of Ideas Post and see if anything starts throwing sparks off it.
It happened the other day when I saw the link for the Library of Horror Tales from the Cauldron link. I went to the Idea Post and found one based on an article I read in Smithsonian a few months back that referenced a particularly hilarious, incredibly Victorian reaction to a male peacock’s feathers– this man said it made him ill to see them, because it meant the man was parading for the woman, and she picked the prettiest one.
How vulgar. Female sexuality is a myth!
And so I wrote this story called The Peacock and the Raven about (not Victorian, but proto-Victorian, anyhow!) witches last week, the one I mentioned… and realized it wasn’t horror at all, and was no good for the anthology.
Not that I’m complaining– I actually think I can make something of the story eventually, and more importantly it was way fun to write. But isn’t that always the freaking way this goes? I mean, I knew how it would end, but I was totally wrong about the character reaction and… a lot of things. Do you all have more control over where these things take you?
If so, do you give lessons?
No. I guess I’ll have to content my control freak urges with endless listmaking and cross-referencing with hyperlinks, won’t I? Ah well, I tried!
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Now playing: The Small Faces – Come On Children
via FoxyTunes
Only in my head. Only in my head.
I know I posted about having the ending before I began, but that’s all illusion anyway. The story (or my lack of writing chops) has a way of taking over and building something different.
Control? Not in my vocabulary. I’ve got a disorganized personality as evident with the mix of work jobs and writing projects littering my desk. Perhaps, one day, I will make enough for a secretary…also, perhaps your “peacock/witch” story will morph into something different and good.
Aaron, I definitely agree with needing to know the end– and I mean, I generally do. But sometimes we’re just powerless.
Let’s pretend it means our characters are very alive for us, shall we? We can’t FORCE them to do things for which their personality does not allow…
Excuses, excuses.
Alan, I hope it will, thanks for the encouragement! Have it out with a beta reading buddy now in the hope that it is indeed salvageable. So hard to tell on my own.
Oooh, I’d like a secretary. One of my friends offered. Let’s start working on that whole making enough thing, shall we?
A.A. Milne said it best, I think:
“One of the advantages of being disorganized is that one is always having surprising discoveries.”
If it’s good enough for Pooh Bear, it’s good enough for the rest of us, I think – just look at honey.
For me (and this is mostly in creating science stories from experiments, rather than imagination – rare for me but it happens – rather than story stories, but I think it really is similar) the illusion of control and/or knowing where you’re going and still ending up there is most likely to be a sign that you’ve missed the interesting things that come up along the way. There’s always weird and interesting things that turn up in anything you do, and the only way to keep heading to where you thought you were going is to ignore the sidetracking. Potentially useful for actually getting things out there, but you’re close to 100% certain to miss the most interesting findings/stories of all.
Diversions are where it’s at, dude.
(or maybe I just like to excuse my lack of ability with thinking in straight lines for long periods of time. But still).
I have no control at all.
Perhaps I was A.A.Milne in a former life…
Filthy peacocks and their feather lust. Why can’t they be like humans, who are completely apathetic to things like beauty, money, and breast/penis size? ; )
Reenie, you are even better at justifying my lack of self-control than I. You’re the best. I should tell you that more often, right? Right! (Helps that it also justifies yours, but we both just love to be diverted, don’t we?)
I think you have something there, though, seriously. I see people saying that they don’t like to outline projects because then it’s like the whole journey’s over and there’s nothing in which to be interested any more– they don’t want to write it now. I always wonder why I don’t feel that way. You may have discovered the reason: because I’m always letting myself be diverted even when I think I know where I’m supposed to end up! Nice!
Cate, then I’m in excellent company.
Alan, dude. That would be awesome.
Nat, seriously. At least we human women have the sense to rise above such primitive motivations!