I'm Going to a Party and I'm Taking…

23 Oct

ETA 30 OCT, 11PM: This contest is now closed. Thanks so much to everyone who entered!

I said I was going to have a contest, which I’ve never done before. Originally I was just going to ask for book recs, because I need one or two more to round out my in-progress holiday haul list. But that’s too easy, isn’t it? No, no, it needs to be something more entertaining than that, and something that’ll tell me why I need this book so badly.

Here’s the idea*: I’m having a Halloween party. You’re all invited, but you have to bring a guest– a fictional character from one of your favorite books. There’s no limitation on genre, place of origin (yours or theirs), or whether or not I’ve read the book before, but there is one catch. They have to be awful. Not necessarily a villain, but just awful human beings in some way: evil, smarmy, cruel, spiteful, careless, miserable, self-centered, vicious, murderous, emo beyond belief, or just flat out jerk-faced. You really ought to hate them, and you know it, but you love them. Not in spite of being awful, but for being awful.**

Any writer who can create those types of characters, I’ll surely love; any book that features them, I’ll adore. So who are you bringing, and why? Anyone who helps to fill the guest list (and my book haul) with a beautifully awful character gets entered into a totally random drawing for prizes!

1. The first name drawn gets a copy of Grants Pass from Morrigan Books. It’s a first print run, so it has a bookplate inside with lots of awesome signatures–collectors item! Hell, I’ll even deface it for you too, if you really want.

2. The next two names drawn — I’ll buy you your choice of mini journal from Colette Paperie. They’re hand-printed Moleskine journals, so you too can be a privileged little artiste! (Thanks for that link, Nat. Ha!)

And of course, if the person drawn first already has GP (leave me a note to let me know if you do when you enter, sil vous plait), they get a journal, and the book goes to the next name drawn. And don’t worry if I’ve already read the book from which your character of awful choice comes– I still want to know who you love in spite of yourself.

What can I say– moral ambiguity does it for me. So who are you bringing to this unpleasant little soiree of mine? Post an answer on this thread before 11pm on October 30, and I’ll announce the winners on Halloween night!

Not enough contest for you? Try Barry’s!

*The idea comes from this post– of all things, a Border’s True Romance blog post, which I found thanks to the badass Smart Bitches, Trashy Books.
**As a well-known example, I love Jaime Lannister from George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. The first time we meet Jaime, he throws a little boy off a tower because the kid saw him screwing his own twin sister– and he just gets more awful from there. But there’s something weird about his f@%ked up sense of loyalty that, once I got his PoV, made him into my favorite character in the series.

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Now playing: Louis XIV – There’s a Traitor In This Room
via FoxyTunes

32 Responses to “I'm Going to a Party and I'm Taking…”

  1. Bellagio October 23, 2009 at 4:42 pm #

    Great idea! Can I bring “The Trinity Killer” from Dexter?

  2. KVTaylor October 23, 2009 at 5:01 pm #

    Yeah, even if you haven’t read the book, that can count! (Seriously, you LIKE that guy? Oh man, and you know where I sleep…)

    ETA: By the way, you know you can’t win anything right? Friends and family are disqualified MR. VISWANATHAN. <3

  3. Amanda Pillar October 23, 2009 at 11:42 pm #

    I’ll come in spirit, and bring Ash, a character from LJ Smith’s Nightworld series. He’s a very bad boy, but seriously, I think I fell half in love with him. Although, near the end of the book he was trying to reform.

  4. KVTaylor October 24, 2009 at 12:53 am #

    Oooh that sounds like my kind of character. Duly noted– and though I’m sure you don’t need a copy of Grants Pass, My Dear Editor, you shall be in the running for a journal for your kind recommendation, at least!

  5. Natalie L. Sin October 24, 2009 at 1:12 am #

    I find dinner parties terribly awkward, so I’ll bring Hawg from HAWG (Steven Shrewsbury). That should sufficiently distract people from any social missteps on my part ; )

  6. Cate Gardner October 24, 2009 at 3:34 am #

    At first I thought Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’, but she is actually the character I like least in all of Jane’s books… So I’m going to have to go with…

    Windsor Horne Lockwood III from Harlan Coben’s Myron Bolitar books. He’s sophisticated, he’s rich, he’s gorgeous and if you want someone killed, he’s your man. He may even give us a martial arts display (he’s an expert). Oh, and he’s totally psychotic.

  7. Alan W. Davidson October 24, 2009 at 8:09 am #

    Hmm…I’m deep in thought over this one (can’t ya smell the wood burning from there?)

  8. Samantha October 24, 2009 at 9:53 am #

    you and barry both do great contests!

    I’m going to have to go with one of the more obvious I’m afraid. And bring the intelligent Dr. Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs. Maybe don’t make it a dinner party.

    I’ve read the book and seen the movie, and there is something slightly endearing (oh dear) about Hopkins as Lecter right? right?

    *sound of crickets*

    eh it might just be me :^)

  9. JodiLee October 24, 2009 at 11:00 am #

    I’m bringing Randall Flagg from King’s The Stand. He’s all over bad-boy in tight jeans and crow feathers.

    PS – Nat, that’s terrifying. I still cringe when I sit after reading that. Just the thought. Corkscrew. Eeep!

    PPS – Samantha, I’d have gone for Lecter, too, if it hadn’t have been for Flagg’s sexy butt.

  10. KVTaylor October 24, 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Nat, I’m sure it’ll be all awkwardness, with this guest list so far– but that sounds perfect! Thanks!

    Cate, god, Emma is obnoxious, isn’t she? She’s my least favorite too… but I guess I kind of loved her in a way. (Or I can now that I’m older.) This Lockwood is my kind of jerk though– he’ll answer perfectly!

    Alan, I wasn’t going to mention it, but something does seem to be burning. (I thought it was me!)

    Samantha– ha! Actually, I’ve not read the books, but I have to kind of agree to a sort of sick admiration of the guy’s, er, charm now and then. A lovely addition!

    Jodi, oh god, yes. I haven’t read that book since I was 14 and I still recall him perfectly. He is the quintessential bad boy, in so many ways– good one. I love it! <3

  11. Corinne Duyvis October 24, 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    I’ve been pondering this ever since you posted it, and came up with, er, zero.

    I guess you could’ve expected that from the girl who still considers Scott and Paige some of her all-time favourites. I like my characters over-ambitious and strait-laced, apparently.

    That said, I’m enjoying these responses – and by ‘enjoy’, I mean that I’m thoroughly creeped out. But that’s fun too.

  12. Michael Stone October 24, 2009 at 6:15 pm #

    [fanboy splurge]
    I’m bringing the titular character from Graham Joyce’s The Tooth Fairy. Is it a he or a she, is it sexy or terrifying? It was all things to Sam, one night filling him with lust, then later swelling to fill his bedroom with its ogre-like immensity. The best book ever by the best author ever. I will brook no argument on the subject!
    [/fanboy splurge]

  13. KVTaylor October 24, 2009 at 9:00 pm #

    I see your point, Cory– and I must say you pick lovely straight-laced types. Even my straight-laced favorites tend to be bored and self-absorbed at the best of times (Warren and Bets come to mind, in that vein. Mmm Warren and Bets…)

    But this won’t shock you, having come to intimately know such jewels as Beck :/

    I’m glad it can amuse though. Maybe the next one will be an Upright Citizen’s Party, so Scotty will feel comfortable!

    Mike, that sounds PERFECT! Your description has sold me– I must have him/her/it!

  14. Aaron Polson October 25, 2009 at 11:04 am #

    Gully Foyle from Alfred Bester’s The Stars My Destination. The guy learns to jaunt across the universe for revenge. Awesome.

  15. Alan W. Davidson October 25, 2009 at 11:33 am #

    OK, I’m back…I’d like to bring Assef,the neighbourhood bully from The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini). For those of you who haven’t read the book, take my word for it he was an evil and cruel human being…in fact, a bit of a bugger even.

  16. KVTaylor October 25, 2009 at 11:48 am #

    Aaron, that’s the kind of drive I can appreciate. Thank you very much, he will do nicely!

    Alan, my mother suggested that book– actually she gave me another of his to read last time I was home, and it’s up soon on my list. Thank you, too– he sounds like a fine addition. Little bugger.

  17. Reenie October 25, 2009 at 7:55 pm #

    Hmmm – I wasn’t going to do this, but reading the responses brought on a flash of inspiration, so here goes…

    I would have to bring Francis Cheviot, from The Reluctant Widow (Georgette Heyer, who is of course, as we know, LOVE).

    Why? Well, of course he would know just how to comport himself adequately at any social function you care to pick. As far as horribleness goes, he would (and did) kill his best friend merely to preserve his own ton. You have to love him though, because let him explain how obviously necessity it is to preserve your social standing, and you find yourself rather unable to blame him for it. Charming fucker.

  18. Barry Napier October 25, 2009 at 9:03 pm #

    I have to choose Randall Flagg. To be so villanous to not only wipe out the world in The Stand, but to also pop up in several other King books to wreak havoc in his own special way….WOW.

  19. KVTaylor October 25, 2009 at 10:56 pm #

    Reenie, I’m so glad you did it– and what party would be complete without Francis Cheviot, come to think of it? Not the sort of party the Quality attend, anyhow. He’s a particularly fabulous addition.

    And I get the feeling he’d like the application of that adjective, somehow. Oh, I really did enjoy him above and beyond her other Lame Meddling Evil Relatives.

    Barry, he’s so charming about it, too! Plus, he pops up often enough that he deserves two invites, at least. I’m all for it.

  20. Mark S. Deniz October 26, 2009 at 10:35 am #

    Give me a minute…no…really…just a minute…I will come with one…

  21. Jeremy D Brooks October 26, 2009 at 11:23 am #

    In the interest of keeping things on the weird side, I have invited Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. As your attorney, he suggests you take a handful of the red pills–don’t ask what they are, that’s privileged information–some amyl nitrate, and open another bottle of anejo. Just relax and don’t look the giant lizards in the eye, and it’ll be over before you know it.

  22. KVTaylor October 26, 2009 at 1:26 pm #

    Mark, you got this!

    Jeremy, now that’s a great idea– I’m almost surprised he’s not been invited before. Wonderful, thank you very much!

  23. Danielle Ferries October 26, 2009 at 10:46 pm #

    Sorry I’m late to the party, but I’d be bringing Mr Norman Bates with me. I’ve always had a soft spot for the psychopathic momma’s boy.

  24. KVTaylor October 27, 2009 at 1:25 pm #

    Not late at all, Danielle. He’ll make a fine addition, the weirdly adorable little creep. Thank you very much!

  25. Beth Cato October 29, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

    I’ll invite President Snow from Suzanne Collin’s THE HUNGER GAMES and CATCHING FIRE. Not only is President Snow a manipulative despot, his machinations are causing the shattered remains of North America to revolt against him. If I were you, I wouldn’t drink from the punch bowl if he’s been nearby.

    (I found my way here from Corinne Duyvis’s blog.)

  26. KVTaylor October 30, 2009 at 2:56 am #

    Hi Beth, glad to meet you, and he sounds like a FINE addition! I don’t believe we have any smarmy politicians yet, and that would’ve been one hell of an oversight. Perfection!

  27. Laura October 30, 2009 at 7:19 pm #

    Before it closes, Montresor from The Cask of Amontillado. It takes a cocky bastard to silently sit through several insults for from a man all the while being his friend and plotting his demise which leads to you getting him drunk and walling him in a crypt while still alive with a small chat at the end. At one point he even toasts his friend’s long life with the trowel digging into his pocket. And yet, I kinda like him all the same.

  28. KVTaylor October 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm #

    Good god, you’re so right. That’s a brilliant answer!

    And on that lovely note, the contest is ended. Thank you so much, all of you– this is one deviously awesome guest list!

  29. Mark S. Deniz November 26, 2009 at 5:24 am #

    Competition has ended? Pah!

    I wasn’t in it for the competition anyway but I just wanted to say that I would have taken Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, for two reasons: one is that the Bronte’s have received some dissing here and I think Wuthering Heights is a gorgeous book and two, because Heathcliff is one of the most vile characters ever but you can’t help be keep feeling sorry for him and wishing he had gotten a better chance.

    So there! ;)

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