Responsibility
23 Jan
I spent a large chunk of today justifying things to myself. I mention it here because I feel sure everyone else who writes must do this regularly. My friends will already be sick of it, as I did a large, self-involved, vacillating post on my personal journal. But it’s so consuming when these sorts of things are up in the air, I can’t get it out of my head, and my misery desires company.
Lucky, lucky you. :/
So I had that awesome moment with The Resurrectionists– which for those not playing along at home is the last book I wrote– where I realized that I’m ready for a second draft. The problems with the first have been sorted, or at least lessened, so I know exactly what I want to do with it, and I have an appropriate amount of distance from the text. And really, I miss it.
But I started writing Plaguebringer, albeit lazily, a few weeks back. I’m about 15k in not counting scripted stuff, and I’ve been sitting on this story (which includes several characters I’ve had forever, piles of maps and worldbuilding nonsense, and a lot of sex and violence, even for me) for well over a year– I’m so ready to write it.
Now, the responsible thing to do would be the edit. Which aspiring writer doesn’t feel lax if they don’t have a novel out on submission? Let’s ignore the round of queries I did for Wolfton two months ago, and that I have two different fulls out with publishers right now– I still feel like a lazy f@#k because when they all come back to me, for better or for worse, I don’t have the next thing ready to go.
But do you ever worry you’ll lose the perfect movie in your head before you get to spit it out onto the page, if you wait? It hasn’t happened to me yet, but I haven’t given it the chance, and I really don’t want to.
In the end, of course I decided to keep writing the new thing, which will start going much faster as of next week, when I finish up a (rather fun, but they usually are) beta read for a pal. I’ve already started it, and I don’t want to lose it. But I still feel guilty and irresponsible.
I can’t be the only one, though. That helps.
—————-
Now playing: Antonio Vivaldi – Concerto In B Minor for 4 Violins, Op. 3 No. 10, RV 580: III. Allegro
via FoxyTunes
It’s so hard to know when you should do the new thing, and revitalize your muse, versus when you should stay the course. A diversion, indulged at the wrong time, can sabotage a story *sigh*
Sometimes I have to smash my fingers in the door to keep from starting a new project when I have a rewrites to do. Not starting new stuff can be so hard.
That’s it exactly, Nat! Gah! so annoying…
Jeremy, I usually do the same. Had I not already started this one, I would’ve done it this time too. Unfortunately, I’d already begun writing before I realized. Ah well!
I always leap on the new thing because my muse stubbornly refuses to cough up any brilliant assistance on rewrites when she has something new for me.
Thankfully once I get the movies splatted out via the keyboard, she’ll go benignly back to her tiddly-pums and let me whack at the revisions.
I think you’ve made the right choice. The Resurrectionists will still be waiting for you when Plaguebringer is done, but Plaguebringer may not wait for you to edit. At least that’s been my experience.
Not that I have much experience with this type of dilemma…but, I’d have to agree with Cate. The little voices inside my head say that if the new story is speaking to you now then go with it. Transcribe what’s popping into your head. Do it! Do it now!
My reaction to this post is simple: follow your muse. If you need to write, then write. You’d spend the rest of your days kicking yourself if you turned away from Plaguebringer now and later lost heart in it.
Megh, I definitely feel that– though I guess it depends on which guise the Muse takes. You’re familiar with this one, so you can imagine that he’ll go back to his corner if I ask nicely. But then, part of it is that I can’t– he’s been so patient
Cate, thank you, that makes me feel a lot better. And it’s not as if I’m putting off some deadline or something! (Which, for the record, I would not do. My parents didn’t raise me like that. Ha!)
Alan, thank you, too. I’m on it. It’s not a bad problem to have, admittedly: too many ideas, in a way. But I think you’re right, and why thwart the voices if I don’t have to?
Mike, I really would be kicking myself, SO hard. He’s one of those Stephen King muses, in the corner smoking a cigar (really, a pipe, but still) and being mean. Not to me, but you know– I still shouldn’t cross him. Thanks, man.
I love it when those great thoughts hit you and you know you’re ready for the second draft.
I fall victim to this all the time. Only my tendency is to flounder back and forth for so long that neither piece gets my attention. Maybe that’s why I’m an insomniac- my Muse’s way of letting me know I wasted my day
Either way, I agree with the others who say to strike while the iron is hot. As long as you’re writing, no need to justify any of it.
Danielle, there’s no feeling like it, is there?
Mary, we were clearly separated at birth. I’m such an insomniac, it makes me miserable, and probably for the same reason! I hate being indecisive, so I tend to get sick of myself and just PICK ONE. But for a while, oh wow. Pain.
Thanks– the validation totally helps. Sad? Perhaps. But true!
I have found the hardest thing to do lately is start, but once I get going. . .
The more we chat the more I agree – totally separated at birth! Hit me up with an email or on Twitter when you’re up – I’m always puttering around and the insomnia is perpetual these days(nights)…