The 8 Stages of Editing
22 Mar
(or The Progression of My Week, During Which A Work of Fiction Last Seen Over a Year Ago Was Prepared For Submissions Anew)
Stage 1: Nostalgic Affection
Oh, how I missed this book. These characters are like dear old friends. I’m so glad to see you all that I’m actually excited to edit, that I may introduce you to my actual friends some day. Joy!
Stage 2: Optimism (or The Idiot’s Contentment)
Well there are some problems here– man did I suck a year ago– but I can definitely make something of it. Tally ho!
Stage 3: Trepidation (or The Dawn of Intelligence)
Hm, more problems than I thought. Better go back and start from the beginning again and make sure I’m being consistent. And go back again. And again.
Stage 4: Disillusionment and Despair
Oh god, I’m getting nowhere, there are just too many issues. This book is terrible, my writing is brittle and pathetic, and no one will ever love these characters! Woe!
Stage 5: Heroic Resolve
Okay, fuck it. I liked it once, I’ll like it again, someday. I will finish, no matter how many hours I spend. And I will finish by tomorrow, dammit.
Stage 6: Rewrites in Earnest
You know what, it’d be a lot faster just to rewrite this whole scene. Or these five scenes. And maybe rearrange the ending a little. Yeah, hey, this is kinda fun.
Stage 7: The Forgetful Trance
Write fix write write write write fix write fix fix write– what do you mean it’s dinner time? I haven’t even had lunch– oh. Damn.
Stage 8: Victory Is Mine
Oh my god, is it really done? Really? Really?
Oh fuck it, I don’t care if it’s done. I’m done. Love you, baby– time to go back out into the world.
*hits send*
—————-
Now playing: Muse – Exogenesis: Symphony, Part 1 (Overture)
via FoxyTunes
Very accurate! Except I very stupidly do this as I go along, constantly backtracking to revise the previous day’s work before starting to lay down fresh stuff. By the time I’ve finished I have a highly polished…mess.
Ugh, I’ve been doing that with the book I’m in the middle of writing lately. I’d like to say it’ll be a highly polished mess when I finally finish it, but I have no faith. It’s too painful to think of. Ha!
Oh god yes. Just add stage 7.5 “Oh god I’m sick of this isn’t there anything better I could be doing?”
GET OUT OF MY MIND!
*snorgles*
That was hilarious and strangely accurate. I will print it off and nail it to my bulletin board for future reference.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Brilliant! I love it.
Nat, good point. And a good five hours of net surfing, while I’m at it.
Sheryl, I’ll try, but I like it in here! Hee!
Alan, but do not despair, for victory shall be yours. Yes!
Meghan, very nearly yay, anyhow. Oh, but it will be mine.
Danielle, I figured everyone who comes around could relate intimately
If only we could catch Stage 8 in a bottle. Unfortunately I find myself idiotically content or in despair. Woe!
Haha.
You forgot to add…
Stage 9: Rinse and Repeat
Months Later… Complete Stages 1-8 again.
LOL!
My stage 8 is: I can’t stand to read it anymore, hits send.
So very, very familiar.
But yay! You finished those edits super-quickly! That’s awesome.
How accurate. I love it. Must show it to wife and see if she can relate on some level.
How true.
#4 would be the one that fuels my procrastination monkey. If I could just get that bastard off my back, maybe I could get somewhere.
Mary, I feel that. Stage eight is just raising the white flag, but at least it’s done, right?
Amanda, hahaha! Oh god, don’t remind me!
Cate, definitely. I’m so over it by the time I get that far, I can’t even see straight. Word. Up.
Cory, they’re almost there anyhow. Today’s the day, dammit. Figured you’d know exactly what I meant though
Jamie, it’s painful, but it seems better if I can mock it. Everything does!
Aaron, #4 was my Saturday. The monkey was so heavy my husband insisted I stop, go out to lunch, and buy a few books. Knocked him off– or at least lessened his grip. Bastard.
I love the phrase, “The Idiot’s Contentment.” I also embody it.