WIP Wednesday and Draft 2
20 Apr
Right, all my labors over newspaper and calendar last week were rewarded very late last night/early this morning, when I put the final touches on Jonesy’s draft 2. The story does have a title, but since the project is of a special nature, I’m waiting until everything’s settled. Dunno if you remember me coughing up this first draft in a few days last month, but this one was a little easier on me. Except I still have that “Oh god, why is it so quiet in my head” empty post draft feeling. And that same depressing, “Why did I break them?!” thing. Luckily I have enough other shit to do work on right now that it shouldn’t last.
I tend to think of draft 2 as the one where I throw my hands up. Yes, I might’ve been able to clarify a few things my 1st one was unclear on. I might’ve been able to come up with a new way to show something, or how to fix some awkward dialogue, or shorten a draggy scene. But the overall effect, the emotional arc for each character–there’s no way I can tell. Boring parts? I don’t know, it’s all boring when you’ve been staring at it for a month or two, isn’t it? And so I send it off to someone I trust to tell me, “Hey, smarty pants, that thing you were trying to say? Yeah, not on the page. At all.”
Just the sending is a relief. Keeps me from picking uselessly at the poor thing. All the gods bless the beta readers.
Right, a sample. How about the first lines?
The moment my fist impacted with David Mullen’s face, I knew I was not intended for the priesthood. An explosion of pain in my right knuckles, the crunch of his lip into his teeth, and ruby droplets flew through the air like spilled communion wine. Mullen hit the ground wailing.
Hand still clenched, I said, “Next time you insult a man’s mother, you’ll know what to expect.”
Soon after, Jonesy admits to us, “I have no mother to insult, of course.” But that’s not the point.
—————-
Now playing: The Beatles – Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
via FoxyTunes
That sample of your first draft is why I come to you for editing advice
<3
Speaking of, your other draft is next up for me!
And then they kiss.
Hahahaha, how well you know me!
Well, okay, they don’t. But Jonesy does kiss… at least five different people in the course of this story, with varying degrees of intention and/or actual interest.
Huh. Hadn’t actually thought of that before. Bit of a bad boy, my little darling!
Ha! Loved that excerpt! Well done. And the little side note was priceless. Heh.
BTW, I’d like to second your sentiment on beta readers. Their heaven sent, yes?
Oh, and that was supposed to say, THEY’RE heaven sent. Wow. Someone needs a nap.
Oh, and WordPressy remembered me this time … since I posted two seconds after my previous post! We found the secret. Now if we can just find a way to manipulate time. Hmmm.
It’s not wordpress–it’s got to be my server! I’m not hosted on WP so I think your browser is too smart to accept cookies from random websites. :/
And I knew what you meant. When you type as fast as we do, homophones become The Enemy. Big time, dude.
Thanks! And yes, absolutely, heaven. I’d be so dead in the water without them.
I’m editing myself into a stupor right now.
(someone on Kindleboards asked where one could hire a beta reader today…bless them)
Oh man, that’s totally effing adorable. I hope they find a beta reader who is awesome–and doesn’t take advantage of them
Editing stupor, oh yeah. I know it well. Godspeed.
That snippet rules <3
Hope you recover from the editing soon! I sympathize. Torturing our own characters can be hugely painful.
I’m glad it entertained! Jonesy had fun punching him in the face–it’s a thing he does.
I’m feeling a little better today after some discussion of another project (yay, diversion!) and all that good stuff. It IS hugely painful, though, and my misery is less for having yours as company <3
Now there’s a first line that grabs ya!
My first lines are usually complete shit, so I’m both surprised and relieved to hear that you think so. Thank you!
Nice beginning. Looks like Jonesy will prove a very interesting guy.
Thanks!
I don’t know, Cate, but I’m sure he thinks he is. Silly little twerp.