My Disastrous Valentine’s Party and Giveaway

6 Feb

ETA: This contest is over! Thank you, everyone!


Once upon a time I had a Halloween Party. I asked people to tell me which awful, awful fictional character they were bringing, and in exchange for indulging this sick whim of mine, I entered them into a drawing to win books.

Let’s do it again, but with a potentially sweeter result, shall we?

I’m having a Valentine’s Day party. You’re all invited, but you have to bring a guest – a fictional character from one of your favorite books. There’s no limitation on genre, place of origin (yours or theirs), or whether or not I’ve read the book before, but there is one catch. You are officially on a date with this character.

You can be as serious or as ridiculous as you like in the answering, but I would particularly love it if you’d tell me why you would take this character out on a date. Maybe you think they’d entertain you with shining wit, or perhaps singing or storytelling or otherwise entertaining the company. Maybe you think they’d bust the party up with a good drunken fight, and that’s your thing. Maybe you could use them as a spy or assassin, or maybe you’re more interested in what would happen after the party. Anything goes, man.

Anyone who helps fill the guest list will be entered into a completely random drawing to win some… well, they are all books that have to do with love in some way, it’s true, but love as a perfect disaster. Dark, ugly, and rather unfortunate. Occasionally even violent.

Which anyone who’s ever been in love will gladly tell you, it usually is.

1. The first name drawn gets a paper copy of Scripped, plus one of the second run* of the Liberty Tree chapbooks. Which, by the way, you can’t get anywhere else ever again. And they’re pretty, honest.

2. Two more people will get a digital copy of Scripped, format of your choice, plus a Liberty Tree chapbook.

Wait, already own Scripped? Wow, I love you, I would never leave you out! You won’t be able to win the first prize, because someone’s definitely getting this copy sitting here on my desk — BUT you can get the runner up prize, and I’ll change it to a paper copy of either Steamy Screams or Rock n’ Roll is Dead. I’ve got disastrous love in both of those, so it’s all in the proper spirit.

(Have all that stuff? Okay, fine, I’ll send you this awesome, totally unopened journal I bought at the National Gallery a few months back. It has a Picasso quote on it. C’mon, it’ll be fun.)

Contest closes at 12 noon, EST, February 14.

So who’s your date? Someone sweet, or someone wicked? Hit me.

*Yes, the second run are slightly less awesome than the first run, which is mostly a matter of ribbons. But those are long gone, sorry!

16 Responses to “My Disastrous Valentine’s Party and Giveaway”

  1. Anthony J. Rapino February 6, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    Well, I already own Scripped and Liberty Tree, but this sounds like too much fun. So, let’s see.

    I’m going to take Marla Singer, from *Fight Club.* She is just the sort of wacko I’d love to party with. She says romantic things like, “I want to have your abortion,” and “You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night then you throw it away. The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.”

    She’d probably end up leaving with another guy, but not before nearly overdosing on pills in the men’s room.

    • Katey February 6, 2012 at 1:35 pm #

      AHAHAHA and the first entry is a marvel. Thanks for that, Tony, loooooove it.

      And hey, you can always win the other books, right? Right! <3

      • Anthony J. Rapino February 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm #

        Marla and I are going to totally *ruin* this carpet if no one else shows up soon.

        • Katey February 6, 2012 at 11:09 pm #

          I’m not sure if that makes me hope more people show up… or no more…


  2. Meghan February 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    I absolutely hate dating, so I’d totally take Gianni. He’d take the whole thing as seriously as I would, I’m guessing, and how could I *not* find something interesting to talk about with a guy who’s old enough to be my grandfather?

    Also, hottest guy there. And it would be fun to watch him fuck with people.

    • Katey February 6, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

      You really would be his ideal date, is the best part. In his selfish little brain, anyhow.

      Which is also extremely gratified. But you know his vanity well enough, by now, to assume as much. <3

  3. Cate Gardner February 7, 2012 at 3:03 am #

    I’m taking Windsor Horne Lockwood III (from Harlan Coben’s books) because he’s a loyal psychopath who likes a drink. He’d also do some kung-fu moves (though possibly break your table – sorry in advance).

    I have both Scripped and Liberty Tree but then you already know this.

    • Katey February 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

      He sounds like the PERFECT addition to our list, yes. Love it, Cate <3

  4. Mihai A. February 10, 2012 at 7:35 am #

    This party looks fishy already! And as I see that you people are up to no good I will bring Miss Marple with me. I am perfectly aware that everyone will turn their heads in bewilderment after us, but if I wanted them to turn in awe I would have brought Red Sonja and her tiny outfit. Anyway, when the bodies will start turning up Miss Marple will do wonders in investigating the crimes.
    WAIT! What if I am one of the murdered ones?

    • Katey February 10, 2012 at 11:51 am #

      Oh my god, fabulous. Jane Marple! At my party!! EEEEEEE!

      You’re right though, we’re going to need her. And I’m sure she’s able to outsmart an potential killers and save you from that fate. Totally. :D

  5. K.C. Beaumont February 13, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Yay! I never get invited to parties!! :D (there’s probably a monumental list of reasons for that >.>)

    I’m bringing Rimmon from Jay Bell’s Hell’s Pawn. A party isn’t a party without a sexy incubus. Am I right?

    Besides, I have no doubt that he would be pursuasive enough to convince the other partgoers to treat your carpet and furniture with the utmost respect.

    • Katey February 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

      Oh man, you just turned the dial up to 11. AWESOME.

      And as a side note, I appreciate the consideration for my carpet. You can come to my parties ANY time, KC <3 Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Alexa Seidel February 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    This party sounds less like you should bring a date, more like you should bring some reliable backup…

    I’m picking Locke Lamora for my date. The guy always has an exit strategy and he knows how to talk, motherfuckers! And yeah, ass-kicking and torture seem useful qualities for this little gathering as well.

    Is it okay to roll up bodies in your carpet? And you don’t mind a little friendly thievery, do you?

    • Katey February 14, 2012 at 8:39 am #

      I think you may be right, Alexa… and therefore your choice is AWESOME. :D

      Yeah, yeah, go for the rolling up and such. I mean, I knew what I was getting into… and I’m pretty sure Marple can take him.

      • Alexa Seidel February 14, 2012 at 8:43 am #

        We’ll have to see about that! Also, who said we weren’t gonna roll up Marple first thing??

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

  1. WiP Wednesday Makes New Worlds and Destroys Them | KV Taylor - February 8, 2012

    […] Awesome. Don’t forget, by the way, that there’s still loads of time to enter the Valentine’s Day Giveaway. The guest list is already frightening, and I’m sure it will only get […]

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